HOW TO MANAGE DIFFICULT PEOPLE

When I first looked at this topic, I read plenty of articles and books, and went to plenty of seminars and workshops. And I was always disappointed.

First, I was always told about the 8, 10, or whatever types of difficult people. And every time I said to myself “Wow. It’s clear you don’t get out much.” So I started documenting the types and ended up with 52 of them. And stopped because that was simply enough. If you want the list, just ask me.

Second, their way of dealing with difficult people was to tell us how to do it with each type. But here are the problems with this approach. One is they’ve not told you about most of the types you’re likely to meet – so you miss out. Another is most difficult person are mixtures of different types. And another is many difficult people are one type one minute and a different type another. That’s what makes them so darn difficult!

Third, the ideas they give give you for dealing with each type are often way too general and of course many of the strategies are simply repeated for each type. Sure, tell them their behaviour is unacceptable but how? Exactly what should you say? And what if they don’t take any notice?

So I was on the lookout for a better way. A way where you would be really helped. And here it is.

A way that works

I help you and your staff Deal with Difficult People effectively efficiently and ethically. My program is called The Secrets to Dealing with Difficult People and it has 3 key components:

1.  Real Life Scenarios

Too often, trainers give you case studies and scenarios to work on which are far removed from the real world of the participants. The problem here is you don’t get much out of them.

So instead, I use Real Life Scenarios. These are real scenarios from your real life experiences. They can be collected before or during a presentation, workshop or coaching session.

2.  A three-pronged approach

First, Nail the Violation

You need to clearly and succinctly be able to say what actually happened and what the problem is that comes from it. And you need to use facts and facts only. 

The person may well have been rude, belligerent, nasty or tyrant. They really might not be a team player. They might well be sexist. And maybe underneath it all they really are jealous of you.

But when it comes to successfully Dealing with Difficult People, we need to stay away from these sorts of terms.

Second, Tailor the Strategies

I’ve produced a list of realistic strategies for Dealing with Bad Behaviour and Dealing with Difficult People. They work because they’ve been tried and tested in the the real world in all sorts of conditions. And you can tailor them to fit your particular needs and your Real Life Scenarios.

Three, Personalise your Approach

We’re all different. What works for me might not work for you. So although you’ve tailored the strategies to fit your particular needs, you need to personalise them. You need to personalise them to fit your way of doing things and to fit with the particular environment in which your strategies will be used.

3.  Agent Provocateur Role-Plays and Real Life Rehearsals

You’re probably familiar with what are usually called role-plays. While they might be used a lot, they don’t help you the way they should. You deserve better. So I use Real life rehearsals which incorporates the modern behaviour rehearsal technique Agent Provocateur Role-Plays.